My He-Man House Skills

(repost from 2013, updated)

I’m not very good at DIY, other than t’other kind, with two exceptions: (1) I’m a dab hand with PVC pipe, learnt back in my aquarium days, and (2) painting.  If that doesn’t seem impressive, keep in mind that I can also scrape, spackle, and sandpaper.

I actually enjoy painting, except that I’m not very precise, so I spend a lot more time sticking up blue tape than actually painting. 

For a long time, I had an aquarium in the living room, and didn’t realize that its hang-on filter had a slow leak, until the paint behind it started to bubble and peel. I put off this little project for six months, for no good reason. I had the tools, but for the longest time, not the will:

Before and after:

In one sense, it’s a bit disappointing to expend all that effort just to end up where I started from. Perhaps a life lesson?

In another sense, it’s a relief.  All of my pieces and objets were chosen very carefully, with all due consideration to how they would (or deliberately wouldn’t) work in the context of a traditional Cape Cod house from 1948, and not at all because I used to get drunk and buy lots of old crap from eBay.

I’m still madly in love with favourite “piece,” my 1970’s tiki sofa:

The canvas straps that support the bottom cushion have stretched a bit, so you sink into it; one button on the bottom cushion was missing and another had become detached, but other than that it was pristine. At $900, not much than you would pay for a new sofa, this was an incredible find.

Unfortunately, it has some Sluggo souvenirs, like this:

. . . which there is nothing to be done about, and this:

I fretted over her urinary souvenir for months (who would want to sit there?) then finally discovered that the bottom cushion is exactly the same on the top and the bottom . . . so I can just flip it over!

The back cushions have faded over the years:

. . . but they, too, are reversible, and then the colours really pop!

-R